Post Post Modernism: Why vodka will die...

[Capn Jimbo]

When Dave Broom speaks, you better lissen up monkeys!


Christmas is coming if you have half a brain, please please subscribe to "Whisky Magazine". Whiskey Magazine is a tour de force about whisky and distilling in general. Now as you should know, single malt whisky (and a certain few blends) are truly noble spirits - honest, pure, often unfiltered, sold at barrel proof and completey, absolutely uncolored and unaltered.

Noble.

But I digress. The two best writers in "Whisky" are Dave Broom and Ian Wisnewski. Broom is one of a handful of master whisky (and rum too, Wolfie) tasters who has forgotten more than the rest of us will ever know or understand. Still he works ever so hard to educate us. As does Ian, whose coverage of the process of distilling fine spirits each month will add to your knowledge of the process and just what makes a spirit noble in every regard.

Subscribe! This month Broom speaks to the issue of Post Post Modernism (sound of multiple jaws hitting multiple tables). I know, I know, how could this possibly relate to rum? I'll tell you shortly, so do keep reading. Follow this...

1. Modernism spoke to what was called the Enlightenment, and to the rise (per Broom) of "...the individual striving for a better society through a growth in culture". This was the age of reason, and led to a heirarchy of values: good, better, best. The best anything - including spirits - prospered.

2. Post-Modernism refers to the more recent attempt to kill Modernism and its natural heirarchy of good, better, best. As Broom puts it, post-modernism was an "anarchy" which gave everything equal weight, and "no one was allowed to say what was good anymore".

Everything became skin deep, image triumphed over craftsmanship and the Preacher and his sycophants promoted the idea that "...it's all good", rank beginners became instant, self-appointed "experts", even giving points to the bottle design! Never you mind the bottle was filled with altered, unlabeled shit. You think I'm kidding? Broom speaks...

Broom: "Ultimately people need to know what is good but under the post-modernist model, as Edward Doox argues, the only thing which can do that is the market and not the intherent quality of the item, because that value judgement infers someone dictating 'quality' to you.

Broom sees vodka as the poster spirit for the Post-Modern period. Rum isn't far behind. As he puts it "...the triumph of packaging, image, price and surface over depth". Where Vodka bottles become symbols and objects of art. Who cares if its basicly flavorless? Or consider "rum" where the unlabeled flavorings and additives define its taste.

And now? And now?

3. Post Post Modernism. Broom argues persuasively that the valueless era of post-modern spirits have been revealed as we, the people, have become disillusioned with the hype and the product.

Again, quoting Broom:

Broom: "Doxx argues: 'we want to be reacquainted with the spellbinding narrative of expertise'. In other words, as post-modernism shows its flaws, so provenance, quality, authenticity, back story and craftsmanship are becoming more important once more".

Bravo! Bravo!! I could not agree more. The current trends are seeing more and more craft and boutique distillers of especially beer, but also of distilled spirits. If people pay more, it will be for true quality and not for the Artic Wolf's bottle ratings. It will not be enough to claim unverifiable extreme age and outrageous price as defining quality. The era of the Preacher's "...it's all good" mantra is kaput.

The people are revolting, and Wall Street is being occupied by the 99r's. In other words, by the rest of us...

[Capn Jimbo]

Let's relate this to rum...


What we'd call "Modernism" - where good, better, best and craftsmanship flourished - perhaps peaked by around 1960. What we'd call "Post-Modernism" - where the market prevailed and real quality didn't matter, with image more important than content - started creeping around 1980 and peaked rather recently.

We the people have finally realized the extent of this. Mega corporations (think Diageo), the "super-premiumization" of spirits (think Grey Goose, where really quite ordinary spirits are repackaged and sold at outrageous prices), and the rise of a bunch of "...it's all good", spirits promoting, self-annointed "experts".

That is coming to an end and Dave Broom - and I - are here to tell you.


We're Wising Up!

The people are wising up and realize just how bad they've been had - not only in spirits, but in almost every other aspect of our economically diminishing lives. Some like the Tea Party want to return to the plantation days when slaves and women knew their place. Others like the 99r's are apolitical and simply want the focus back on the people, and the middle class. They want an end to endless profitable war and the takeover of our system by megacorporate influence.

Rum drinkers have finally figured out that much of their "rum" is actually altered with unlabeled additives and flavorings, and seek real and authentic rums made by artistic and knowledgable craftsman, and not by column-distilling, additive adding giant corporations.

But the Post-Modernists aren't giving up so easily. Knowing that the enlightened masses are now seeking true quality and expertise, the Post Modernists will give them that. To them "expertise" is just another label design. The result: self-appointed "experts". These were formerly the Big Four: the Preacher, the Badassitor, the Rum Queen and the Burr Brothers, who actually knew something about rum, but refused to tell you the whole story, ergo "...it's all good... buy some!".

The latest incarnations are the pinnacle of Post Modern promotion, exemplified by Lance of Liquorature and especially, the Arctic Wolf (among a few others). These "experts" - like Sidney Frank's Grey Goose - are simply and totally self-created. The assume the mantle of "expert" and simply start publishing mountains of really uninformed "reviews", lists and recommendations. They talk the talk, but unlike the Big Four, they really don't know the product, but act as though they do.


The Revolution is being televised

In sum, we're in a transition period. Many of the monkeys cling to their fearless "experts" - tell me, please, please, what I should buy and drink - but a growing number of enlightened individuals are leaving the fold. They've seen that the King and Queen really aren't wearing any clothes - even the King has given away his bra!

So how's it happening?

Simple, the net is really a small place. Any idiot can easily see that the same sources are regurgitating the same recyled marketing points and made-up back stories provided by the distillers. How do you spell b-o-r-i-n-g? Or u-n-c-o-n-v-i-n-c-i-n-g? At the same time, websites like this one and other cogent posters are expressing new knowledge and doubt about the crap that's being waterboarded down our throats. Examples: Zacapa, Zaya and Pyrat XO, among others, have been outed.

We've had it with the latest Batshit Dingleberry, rum-like concoctions. We have been to the mountain, and we are free, free, free at last...