Seriously. Let's start with the Frozen One: now engaged - sit down - in his newly created Top One Hundred regurgitated spirits' reviews (!), apparently counting down to New Years. I believe he's down to #34 or so. Whatever. I'll bet you didn't even know that, or if you did, it's not like we've all been desperate to view his selections. Compare to F. Paul Pacult whose Top selections actually mean something, coming from a tip top writer/reviewer who has an amazing palate and brilliant protocol.
Now along comes the Caner, about a day or so after the Paris attack, and releases his latest review of a French island native product (Haiti, Clairin Vaval, raw white and 106 proof firewater) he opens the review with this amazing, self-centered line reflecting his now typical "I had the balls to taste this OP" meme, specifically:
I'm dead serious, a direct quote."Looks like water but goes down like a charge of cheerfully boosted C4. You won't mistake it for any other rhum; except maybe its cousins. "
It's bad enough that he rarely and reluctantly adds water to anything, then dramatizes the ball shriveling experience but to compare this French white unaged clairin to "a charge of cheerfully (!) boosted (stolen) C4" - a powerful military explosive (perhaps even used by the Paris suicide terrorists?) is completely without taste. I can't even imagine his motives other than what some might consider a quasi-pathological addiction to a look-at-me, aren't-I-clever-and-hyperbolic style of writing.
He goes on adding the usual obtuse descriptions such as "...among the wildest, angriest and most rip-snorting rums available", "...You kind of have to breathe deep after each sip when sampling this rhum", "as you gaze at your glass the first time you try the Vaval and give vent to a disbelieving "Putain mais était quoi ça?" (French for "what the fack!"), ",,,Very strong and almost sharp, of course ; it was 52.5% after all...", and the like. He practically gives Luca an e-BJ, and has an orgasm retelling the story of how Luca found and paid for a lovely piece of art for the the price of a few bottles of this motherfackin, awesome dram, lol...
In sum, this review, like so many others, is "...all about me, my amazing discoveries, relationships and ability to tolerate phenomenal amounts of pain" - all for the cause, of course. Along with hero worship, and clever but inaccessibile hyperbolic comparisons. "Like a cab driver masturbating in between fares" (my words) kind of mooseshit. But that may be what we expect and may be forced to accept from such ego-driven writers. But the one thing I can't accept?
The extremely poor taste and timing of a stolen explosive allusion, so soon after Paris. And that is fackin unforgiveable.
*******
http://thelonecaner.com/241/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C-4_%28explosive%29
, and i hope there will be more in the market for rum lovers.
