Rum Pre-Review: George Street Spiced Rum

[Capn Jimbo]

If it walks like a duck...


In a nearby thread (link), you were treated to a treatise on "How to Recognize a Shill", highlighted by the example of the Frozen Wolfie spewing forth on a new, made-up, plastic bottled spiced rum.

George Street Spiced Rum.

In this article we demonstrated that Wolfboy has learned all his shillessons, as exemplified by rules set forth: changing opinions on the fly (regarding plastic bottles), caving in to distillers (the Canadian NLC) and blatant regurgitation of distiller ad copy.

To be completely fair and transparent, let me be perfectly clear: I have never, ever owned, purchased, tasted or reviewed this rum...

. . . . . . . .

Nor will I ever. It's my firm opinion that any spirit which is sold in a plastic flask or bottle is shit. I don't care what the distiller says, and I especially don't care what a newbie reviewer with a bitter palate says about it.

Such spirits are shit, were shit, and will remain shit. But let's be fair and at least consider what Wolfie says about it...

Wolfboy: "There is a place where they believe they know rum better than anywhere else... not only have they been smuggling and buying their rum for over three hundred years... (they) drink more of the stuff per capita than anyone else in North America..."

Boy, that's some recommendation. And just where is this sophisticated and rum knowledgable place that is populated by the world's leading experts on rum?

Wolfboy keeps licking: "On that rock called Newfoundland... (in) a city called St. John’s where... rum consumption reaches its apex... George Street! A street full of music... revelry... lined (with) Pubs and Restaurants... (and) where (the) drink of choice seems to be rum!"

George Street is nothing more than a short 24/7 party street that - according to the NLC (Newfoundland and Labrador Liquor Corp) - has "...over 22 bars and pubs packed into two small blocks, George Street has the most bars and pubs per square foot of any street in North America". And the Frozen One is buying every word. Listen to him drool over this plastic bottled, low priced spiced concoction...

Wolfboy's rectal review: "This isn’t an ordinary spiced rum... (It's) from Guyana (and is a) blend (of) two years old... 5 years old, and... 7 years old."

If true (that it contains 2, 5 and 7yo rums), that would really make George Street almost completely unique amoung spiced rums, most of which are made with relatively unaged light rums (think Bacardi - with whom George Sreet competes in Canada).

Wolfy finds gold: "And finally, this aged Guyanan Rum has been painstakingly crafted into an aged, spiced rum using extractions and distillations of real spices."

Really? That's amazing. In the world of spiced shit, almost none of them use real spices. Exceptions: The Lash, Foursquare by Seale, Pango and perhaps another one or two.

Wolfie then proceed to gush over: their ordinary bottle (!), cartoonish label, and their profile which includes: "...carmelized brown sugar, vanilla, sweet cinnamon rolls, cloves, roasted pecans, baking spices and a wonderful undercurrent of coffee" (summarized). Sounds delicious, yes?

Of course, no real Canadian can resist mixing a spirit - any spirit - with coke...

Wolfboy lifts his leg and mixes it up: "As wonderful as... this sounds, it is when the spiced rum is introduced to cola that I really began to get excited. The spiced rum and coke cocktail is a natural... as the sweetness of the cola works beautifully with the dryer elements of the rum."

After reading all this, Wolfie can't possibly be the only one "...to get excited". But I'm not, and heres' why...


*******

1. No bottom shelf, low priced, plastic bottled, invented rum product can be that good. Sorry, it just can't.

2. Do you honestly believe that any distiller - anyone, please! - would blend expensive rums aged up to seven years old with equally expensive real spices - and then package and sell it on the cheap? I don't.

3. Last, and as you might expect, I sent the NLC a friendly and inquisitive e-mail, asking the kind of questions rum afficianados might like to know...

Moi: "Hi...

Read a review of your rum and have some questions:

1. What are the spices used in this rum? Are artificial spices used? Are "natural flavorings" used? Are any real (not artificial or natural) whole spices used?

2. How, when and where are the spices added?

3. The reviewer stated the rum base is a blend of two, five and seven year rums from Guyana? What percentage is five year? Seven year? Are these column stilled rums?

Are your rums available in the United States?"

Look, you and I both know that no distiller spares a single flowery adjective, adverb, phrase or sentence when telling their made-up marketing story. If a distiller uses seven year old rum and real spices, you can bet your rapidly shriveling penis that they'd say so repeatedly, and highlight these sales points everywhere in real big - ginormous copy.

Always. And they'd confirm that in an email, wouldn't they now? Let's see if they did...

Greg Kerr, George Street Spiced Rum: "Hi there.
I'm afraid the only question I can answer is that I hope that this rum is available to you in th US soon... hope you can appreciate that!

All the best!"

4. In sum, the distiller runs away from Wolfie and his assertions as if the hairy one was rabid and hacking from antibiotic resistant TB. But Kerr does hope that George Street will be "...available to you in the US soon...".

But will it make it here? I doubt it.


Bottom Line:

Don't get me wrong, I love finding and promoting honest "best buy" rums. Examples: Ron Viejo de Caldas, Santa Teresa Anejo, Doorly's 5 Year, et al. None of these is made up - all of them are made by reputable distillers with lots of honest history. But any idiot can recognize a bullshit product, especially when it's packaging, promotion and story are so clearly invented.

Prove me wrong, please. Make me eat my words. BTW, my email has been forwarded to yet another George Street employee, hopefully one that actually knows whats in their plastic flask...

Stay tuned...

[Capn Jimbo]

Newfoundland & Labrador Liquor Commission stays mum!


At the end of the post above, I wrote Mr. Greg Kerr of the NLC as I wished confirmation of Wolfboy's claim that George St. Spiced Rum (a) was composed of 2, 5 and 7 year old rums (wow!), and also (b) used extracts and distillations of real spices (double wow!!).

Mr. Kerr declined to reply, but in doing so linked his boss, Tarah Mowry. I repeated my request, which she too declined on the copout basis of "trade secrets". Please. So I gave it one more try...

Moi: "Tarah, thanks for the reply. Here's the problem. A Canadian website, "The Rum Howler" (link) recently reviewed your rum:

In his review, Mr Chip Dykstra stated the following (the entire review is linked above):

1. "I was sent a sample of the George Street Spiced Rum by Gregg Kerr, of the NLC and after much labour I have completed my review."

2. "For starters, the rum itself is from Guyana, the home of the world famous Demerara Rum. Some of the rum in the blend is two years old, some of the rum in the blend is 5 years old, and some of the rum in the blend is 7 years old."

3. "And finally, this aged Guyanan Rum has been painstakingly crafted into an aged, spiced rum using extractions and distillations of real spices."

It seems obvious that Mr. Kerr (or another rep of your company) provided Mr. Dykstra with the information I am asking you to confirm. Now either he is guessing (which I doubt), or someone - likely Mr. Kerr - has selectively released this information for a public review.

Frankly, most rum distillers are pleased to release such facts, as a blend of 2-5-7 years rums is admirable and a lovely sales point, as is the use of real spices. Neither of these alleged facts in any way compromises any trade secrets, as you well know.

Which is it? Is Mr. Dykstra misinformed, or are his claims accurate? If you wish to be completely opaque - for what reason I cannot imagine - will you at least share what appears on your label or public website.

If you cannot confirm Mr. Dykstra's claims, then I can only assume his claims are simply that - guesses. I doubt that.

I would appreciate your honest answer, as frankly, if Mr. Dykstra's claims are accurate regarding the blend and the use of real (not artificial or natural flavorings) you have a helluva product...

Best regards...
Jim

aka Capn Jimbo
The Rum Project"

The key points:

1. Nothing I requested could even remotely be considered a "trade secret".

2. There isn't a rum marketer alive who would hesitate even a millisecond to proclaim the use of 7 year old rums and/or real spices. If so used you can be sure every single piece of literature, every label, every advertisement and the entire website would be exclaiming the use of such premium ingredients.

The result: nada, zippo, cero. The big "Z"(ero). Ms. Mowry knows full well that the Wolfboy's ear was filled with the kind of distiller claims he loves to regurgitate, but just won't admit it.


Bottom line:

1. The NLC refuses to confirm the Wolfboy's amazing claims.

2. The NLC's website avoids the subject, and the NLC will not even confirm the contents as published on the rum's own label. Pretty sad.

3. Accordingly, either the Frozen One is lying (which I doubt), or the NLC is (which I believe).

Shame on you, NLC! Shame on you, Mr. Greg Kerr. And shame on you, Ms. Tarah Mowry. I'm sure you have a nice little low shelf zippy rum there, but based on your silence, I have to doubt the used of 7 year aged rums and real spice extractions.

As is true of all rum purchases, let the buyer beware.