Hot Coals Dept: Holding the Newfeetland NLC to the fire...

[Capn Jimbo]

"Ouch. OUCH, I say!"


Let's make George Kerr and the NLC (Newfoundland and Labrador Liquor Corporation) famous. Mind you, I have given them every possible chance to simply be open and honest about their invented rums. These include:

1. George Street Spiced Rum
2. Old Sam Rum
3. Screech Rum

Here's what they have in common:

1. All are invented rums. All tell a whopper of a marketing story, pulling dribs and drabs, real or imagined tidbits, myths and stories allegedly from history.

2. All lead you believe that the current product grew continuously and directly from these storied "histories".

3. All are sold in PET plastic 750 ml. bottles, all featuring crude and cartoonish labels and are sold at a low, low (in Canada) price of about $25 (compare to $12 rums in the US).

How do you spell b-o-t-t-o-m s-h-e-l-f?


Some examples:

NLC: A Jamaican rum brought back by sailors in the 1700s, Screech soon became a Newfoundland favorite and has stayed so for generations. Every glass has a story to tell if you're willing to sit and listen.

"Screetch" was a term to describe the historical, pretty awful rums of the slavers days. The "Screetch" they recently invented has no real connection other than the story. Generations? Try minutes...

George Street: " Nobody drinks and mixes more RUM than we do - so who better to craft the perfect blend? Over 20 mixologists put their skills together and crafted a taste that will win your senses over. You can thank them for a product influenced by a history of Newfoundland RUM experts!"

George Street is a two block party street in Newfoundland. The "experts" are allegedly the toss-em-back crowds and local bartenders who the NLC refuses to identify. And we all know how much bartenders really know about rum, right?

"NLC: 1797 - Clippers bound from Guyana arrive in the port of London. Onboard, casks of rum labeled "Old Sam" are set to cause an immediate stir. In the golden age of seafaring, rum was the currency of trade and none was worth more than a drop of Old Sam's.

Sam was a man who demanded much of himself, his workers and his rums but brimmed with generosity for guests and friends... Merchants, naval officers and adventurers alike found their way to his post on the Demerara River to share a story... and a taste of the latest blend."

Gag me with a spoon. All rely on a distant, hazy and largely invented historical story, and as far as "Old Sam" goes, don't get me started on the "sharing of stories... and a taste of the latest blend" while engaged in the vicious and violent slave trade. Up spirits, assholes!


But here's the good part...

It turns out that the up and coming Wolfboy has established a lovely conveyer belt of free product from the NLC, which apparently includes the aforementioned Mr. Kerr who not only provides the product, but also shares some "inside information" with Wolfie.

Accordingly Wolfie dutifully reports that George Street Spiced Rum contains Guyanan rums of 2, 5 and 7 years, and uses real spice. That Screetch is a blend of "4 marques" distilled by Appleton and aged for at least 2 years. And that Old Sam is composed of Guyanan rums from 2 to 12 years of age!! Holy Wolfshit, Batman! Them are some amazing claims! And by the way, none of Wolfie's "factoids" appear on any of the rums' websites. But does Kerr confirm them? In a word...

No way Jose, er Sam.

I have written Mr. Kerr on several occasions, and even received answers from him, as well as from his boss. So far both have opted out on the basis of "trade secrets"?! Are you kidding me?

"Trade Secret" enough that they won't confirm or deny these amazing claims, but not enough that they can't whisper in Wolfboy's quivering ear, giving him some sort of exclusive in return for claims they refuse to make publicly either on or off their website. How bad is it?

Very.

Kerr even refuses to release label information. Ridiculous. Either Wolfie is lying (which I doubt) or the NLC has something to hide regarding their PET plastic bottled rum (pun intended). Nonetheless, if nothing else I try to be fair and have sent our dear Mr. Kerr one last flurry of simple emails which ask him simply to confirm or deny the Frozen One's assertions.

Stay tuned...

[Capn Jimbo]

What does it mean when a distiller won't confirm content?


Marketing boyz and girlz are known for two things:

1. Big mouths, which...

2. Quickly close up when they are challenged.

In the post above I promised to send Mr. Greg Kerr a final flurry of very simple emails which simply (a) posed the claims made by the Frozen Wonder, and (b) asked simply whether these very positive claims were true or not.

Kerr failed to answer any of the three inquires. Now I know the Shillery monkeys are wont to say something like "Why should he? After all, Capn Jimbo is negative and contrary..."

They're absolutely right. I disagree with them, lol. The real truth is that I seek the truth. If for example, George Street really does use "2, 5 and 7 year old Guyanan rums, as well as real spices..." then I would be duly impressed and say so.

A spiced rum using these ingredients would be highly praised by anyone, not least moi. But Kerr defers, and I won't waste my valuable time on anyone who lacks the cajones to simply tell the truth. If I were Kerr, I'd have said "Yes, its true and we're proud of our rum".

But he didn't. My experience with marketers (and I was one) is that terrific sales points like these tend to appear everywhere - on the website, label and advertising. Even dubious claims are promoted, and true claims surely are.

But not for George Stree, and not by Mr. Kerr. Now either the Wolfboy was lying - which I doubt - or Mr. Kerr has something to hide. Which is true?? You decide...