Canada: Where the Truth Lies?

[Capn Jimbo]

There's Bullshit, then there's Bison Shit...


Recently the Frozen Bisonshitter reviewed a new (to Canada) vodka named Zubrowka or ‘Bison Grass’ Vodka. According to him this new vodka is "...an original Polish vodka (where) vodka has been flavoured with Bison Grass...". He then went on to regurgitate - in long and great detail - the company's romantic description of how this special and hard-to-find aromatic grass was eaten by bison, and used in basket making, pillow stuffing, in rituals where the, uh, "grass" is smoked and even as an herbal medicine. And in vodka - a 600 year tradition!

No doubt Bison Grass would give the Frozen One an incredible woodie.

He also regurgitated Zubrowka's marketed process to flavor their vodka by crushing the bison grass in the manner of the cold-pressing of olive oil, followed by the repeated circulation of vodka, with the resulting tincture being added to their rye vodka to produce - voila! - "Zubrowka (Bison Grass) Vodka!

How facking romantic! How intriguing!

But then the Furball dropped a hint of where the real truth lay when he quoted Wikipedia:

Wiki: "When produced according to traditional methods... Żubrówka contains approximately 12 milligrams of coumarin per litre.In 2011 the American licensee of the Polish company worked with Rémy Cointreau to introduce a new American formulation..."

He also republished - without permission - Wiki's copyrighted material (inside joke) which stated that "coumarin (was) prohibited as a food additive" and "Zubrowka was banned for importation to the United States in 1978". He went on to note he'd received the usual freebie using "the North American formulation" - sans coumarin - but failed to tell us just why bison grass was prohibited, nor did he relate the contents of the altered new recipe.

For good reason.


Time for the Truth

Who's the Furball working for anyway? After posting paragraph after paragraph about Zubrowka and their tasty basketweaving, pillow stuffing, ritualistic, and medicinal vodka representing 600 years of bison grass tradition...

He never reveals where the truth lies. But the Wall Street Journal does in an article date January 18, 2011 of this year: Name Your Poison: How a Banned Polish Vodka Buffaloed Its Way Into the U.S..

Here's what the Frozen Bisonshitter didn't report. The coumarin in Zubrowka is considered toxic - that's right - a poison. According to the FDA the bison grass coumarin is a blood thinner that can interact with medication, may be dangerous for diabetics, can be toxic to the human liver and kidneys, and is a component in...

Rat poison.

It gets worse. "Zubrowka" is actually a generic term, so anyone can produce it, and in Poland a number of companies do just that. According to Wiki, vodka labeled "Zubrowka" may not contain any bison grass at all!

Wiki: In 1999, distilleries that were not connected with the Polish brand introduced lower quality reformulated versions of the product,[1] sometimes using artificial flavors and colors, with the emblematic blade of grass in every bottle but "neutralised" so as to be coumarin-free."

You read it right. Your "Zubrowka" could be made by anyone, and likely doesn't contain the 600 year traditional bison grass featured by their bisonshit ad copy. Or by the Frozen Regurgitator. Chock full of engineered flavors, colors and additives designed to taste like the original liver killing version.

According to the Journal, the "Zubrowka" name is owned by CEDC in Poland, distilled by Polmos Bialystok. Catch this...

WSJ: "Chemists at Polmos spent years struggling to concoct coumarin-free Żubrówka that tastes like the original. Around 2005 they hit on a blend that they're keeping secret."

But does it live up the real rat poison? Not according to Polish drinkers...

WSJ: ...purists are wary. "Something is missing; it's like a light version," says Zdzislaw Janowicz, owner of liquor store Alcohols of the World. "The real one is something special," says Mr. Janowicz, who tried Żu in Chicago. "It has the smell of the forest."

Bottom Line:

1. The truth does not lie with the Frozen Furry One.

2. He regurgitates hundreds of fawning words about the bison grass history and the alleged grass crushing process used to produce it, without revealing that it may not be produced this way at all.

3. He fails to note the possibility of "secret" artificial flavors and colors being used to produce the current "lite" version.

4. He selectively quotes Wiki, omitting the toxic nature of bison grass.

What bison shit! Shilling at its worst, a shame, really. Thanks to The Wall Street Journal and the Wikipedia , where the truth really lies...

[Capn Jimbo]

It's all bisonshit if you ask me...


After reading the Frozen One's review, among others, most of which are dominated by Zubrowka's amazing backstory - which even includes the method used to extract the essence of "bison grass" - isn't it more than a little misleading to learn that the American version may not contain bison grass at all, but is based on a "secret recipe" that is likely to contain artificial flavors and coloring!

Sure it is.

No reviewer worth his molasses has any business in promoting a bisonshit marketing story, nor ignoring the reality of what is simply a reportedly shoddy imitation of a traditional vodka that is illegal for good reason.

Does that make any sense at all? It does, but only if you're a hopeless shill. Sidney Frank made clear that vodka is simply alcohol and water sold with a backstory and delivered in posh bottles designed simply to sell a relatively tasteless, mass produced, cheaply made product.

Vodka is all marketing and sold mostly by mass shilling by monkey reviewers - at unbelievable markups and for incredible profit.