Tommy Bahama Dept: Underwear and Rumologist...

[Capn Jimbo]

Tommy Bahama: Seeking a Lifestyle Bullshitter...


And you will be shocked to learn of the applicants!

Here's the backstory. "Tommy Bahama" is a lifestyle product featuring overpriced clothing, knicknacks, furniture - you name it. What's a "lifestyle" product? Typically, it's a product associated with a movie star, actor, ex-politician - who cares - and which carries his/her name, eg. the Ford Explorer Capn Jimbo Edition. In the case of "Tommy Bahama" the association is a made up name that implies a person, but isn't.

This made up idea - "Tommy Bahama" - was then attached to a rum made by Richard Seale. Richard is one of the few distillers who makes substantial quantities of real, pure and honest rums that have garnered deserved accolades for years. It's fair to say that if Seales makes it, you must buy it and try it.

Unfortunately, the Bahama rums are an exception.

Bahama is very specific, very controlling and no doubt tied Richard's hands into producing a light, smooth rum designed for mixing - then Bahama attached their usual "lifestyle" extravagant price, originally near $40, designed to separate wealthy buyers from their money for a mixer that would be overpriced at $20, much less $40.

The result: Bahama rums failed, and the prices have dropped dramatically, as they should have. Unfortunately, this progression - really an admission of failure - did nothing to guild the allure of what was a tremendously overpriced rum in the first place. They were in a trick box - Bahama products are expected to be overpriced, but the product did not justify its price. A shame, because the rum is really is/was a nice mixer.

But hardly exceptional.

So now - in their hour of desperation - they decide to finally hire a "Rum Ambassador (who came up with that idiotic title?), and in a stroke of marketing idiocy, created a contest in which they solicited videos of entrants to become the "Rumologist" for Bahama, win $50,000 and get a job traveling around the US to promote their failed products. Free Bahama clothes too, no doubt.

So a bunch of monkeys entered - most nutcases - but a few Senior Monkeys, and here's the surprise...


At least two of the entrants are known to us!

The Rum Dood (link to entry video) and - are you sitting down? - Luis Ayala (link)!!! Dood's video is somewhat "produced", while Ayala's is completely professional and convincing. The rest of the "top ten" are a bunch of flamers who'd produce a video to get a job promoting almost anything from dog food to herbal cock enlargers.

Both submissions were amazing to me, as apparently the "Dood" would have no trouble quitting his bartending job to live in Motel 6's for Tommy Bahama, but what really amazed me is Ayala's entry. Here's a guy who has published several books, has been consultant to the rum industry, has helped establish the flavor profile for a number of well known rums (think Ron Jeremy), writes for the trade etc.

I had the highest regard for Luis as he, not the Preacher was the first real promoter/educator regarding rum. And he'd give up all this for a facking failed rum, fifty grand, and maybe a year of employment?! Things must be pretty bad. What do I get from this?

Rum is in horrible shape if guys like this are so desperate as to even enter such a bullshit "contest". It's little better than the Captain Morgan contest in which entrants are solicited to mimic the invented Morgan "lifted leg" posture.

It sucks. I continue to keep hope for real and pure rum, but honestly - I'm losing faith...

[Capn Jimbo]

Dear John, er Dood...


A posting to the Dood...

Moi to the Dude: "Tommy Bahama has surely had a checkered history, was invented as a sort of designer, lifestyle rum at an outrageously high opening price (around $40 if I recall). This opening salvo failed, and the Bahamas have had to endure the embarassment of having to lower their prices, and to start appearing as a closeout.

Why?

Although made by Richard Seale, Bahama was obviously designed to their specifications, and was/is little more than a decent, smooth mixing rum that had it opened at under $20 would have been a great hit. Now they have to try to reawaken interest in a rum memorable mostly for its marketing failures, which sadly overshadow the rum itself.

How do you promote what is a smooth, but unremarkable mixer for a lifestyle brand that prides itself on commanding ultra-premium prices, but has been reduced to selling their product for average prices, and is even being closed out here and there?

Hire a “Rumologist” I guess.

Will it work? Is this a position worth giving up a job for? Apparently so, and I wish you well. But keep your resume updated…"

Posted at the Dood's. Stay tuned for (a) his answer, or (b) his use of the "delete" function...