Patina Dept: Rums and Provenance

[Capn Jimbo]

Most of want to look younger. Not rum!


Part of my early morning routine is a visit to the Huffington Post and the smorgasbord of news and articles they offer. Today I ran across what I assumed would be a self-inflated, PR article by Mark Walberg, the host of the TV show "Antiques Roadshow". The title? "What I've learned on Antiques Roadshow".

Of course I assumed this would simply be a puff piece promoting what I see as a bunch of ordinary people hoping they just found an unpublished, original draft by Shakespeare inside of Grandpa's rotting desk.

I was wrong.

It was actually quite a thoughtful piece that elucidated the four factors that brings value to a piece... Authenticity, Rarity, Condition and Provenance.

Authenticity is obvious. It must be old - and - it must be real. Rarity is too. There can't be a warehouse full of unreleased similar objects. Condition? Take "mint condition" - this implies the object is not simply old, but was valued and cared for over the many years. And last is Provenance, a word familiar to great tasters.

Provenance refers to origin and history. A old chair from the Ford Theatre in Washington, site of Lincoln's assassination? Nice. A theatre chair verified from 1865, the year of the event? Great. Lincoln's chair from that night? Fantastic. And very, very valuable.


So how does this relate to rum?

This should be obvious. Those who really understand and appreciate rum have also studied its history and Provenance and understand its development. From the home of rum in Barbados (Barbadian style), to Jamaica and development of the aromatic Jamaican style, through Guyana, Haiti and Cuba. Each step of this flowing history established a style that carried forward through generations.

It is possible to still find rums that express true provenance. Think Mount Gay, J. Wray and Appleton, the El Dorados, Barbancourt and yes, even distantly in Bacardi.

But most of our modern rums are really frauds.

Take Panama Red and their completely made up backstory about a mythical and non-existant bar owner named, yup, "Panama Red". All bullshit. Just like the phony designer, Chinese copy handbags that so many women - who can't afford the real thing - buy along with their silicone implants. Or consider all the altered rums that contain unlabeled additives designed to fool you, and to attempt taste authentically rum-like.

Not real, not authentic, in poor condition, common and with made up histories. Even Mark Walberg would puke...