There's a place called "The Expert's Corner". Here's how it works. You're just another rum rep, with just a few lines when you decide to establish one of the early websites. You make up a piratey story and then establish a commercial site which pretends to promote rum in general. But here's the key...
A certain number of monkeys will come to actually believe you're an expert and buy the story.
Now whether you are or not, the furbearing public treats you like one so what do you do? Simple. You celebrate your marketing success and proceed to play the role. And play, and play. You have to. It becomes unthinkable to go out of role and voila!
You've painted yourself into "...the expert's corner".
This week's episode...
Another innocent Shillery monkey managed to get his paws on a bottle of 151 and wanted to dilute it to 80 proof. Based on his calculations he figured he needed to add 22.35 oz of water to do so - so he posted simply to confirm that his math was correct.
Enter the preaching Preacher.
As the intergalactic knower and seer of all things rum, the Preacher demonstrates his superior knowledge by gently prodding the simian and fine tuning his calculation...
My, my - the poor furball was off by a tenth of an ounce!Preacher: "That is very close Craig. If it was 160 proof, twice what you see on your store shelves, you could just add 750ml... But since this is (151 proof), (151/80 *750)-750)/29.57 ml/ounce = 22.5 ounces."
Then our expert Preacher further cautions "...How the water is added is important. You could just add this in a larger bottle and shake it up, but I would suggest adding an ounce every few hours and stirring it as you go."
He alludes to some kind of "chemical reaction" to justify this hair splitting. Gag me with a spoon. But even that isn't "expert" enough, so when the furball asks what kind of water should he use - "...soft, hard, distilled, spring, mineral etc?" the Preacher really goes off..
Preacher: "My water of choice would be limestone filtered water like that found in Kentucky... avoid anything with chlorine in it... Deionized is good, but the real test is to try it and taste it... Definitely avoid hard water from a municipal supply."
The view from the Idiot's Corner...
The monkey's calculation was just fine. And you don't have to run off to Kentucky to find the Preacher's recommended "limestone filtered" water either. His recommendation for "deionized water" is equally ludicrous based on both extreme price and minimal availability. Seriously folks, the problem is not really a problem at all. First of all, no one really knows what kind of water was used in the 151's production so there's one and only one safe and sensible choice...
Distilled water.
Commonly available, cheap, practical and very, very pure and most importantly, tasteless. Add 22.35 oz (or 22.50 if you wanna keep the Prophet happy) and voila! The 151 will not be altered in any practical way except to achieve the desired proof. In short...
A simple, idiot-proof solution...