Reviewer's Review: The Bilgemunky

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How do you rate The Bilgemunky?

5
2
33%
4
4
67%
3
0
No votes
2
0
No votes
1
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 6

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Capn Jimbo
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Reviewer's Review: The Bilgemunky

Post by Capn Jimbo »

The Bilgemunky. Because pirateyness is next to godliness...

Modern piracy with integrity.

If you don't know of the Bilgemunky, shame on you. Way back when I was just an ordinary idiot in search of credible guidance, it was not long before I ran across El Machete (sadly inactive), Count Silvio, the Beverage Tasting Institute, the Shillery of Rum and god knows how many others.

It's like being keelhauled.

If you're like me - pity you - you read through review after review, desperate to find some sort of consensus and having found same - you then shell out your hard earned shekels for what you hope is something nice. Then you go through your early fumbling efforts to nose and taste it, and then once again consult your short list of favored reviewers to see if you agree.

Rum after rum, one Andrew Jackson or - gulp - one U.S. Grant after another.

In time you get better and you weed out the preaching, "...it's all good" promotors and settle on couple or three reviewers whose descriptors best fit your own, or perhaps your own begin to accomodate theirs. And if you're really, really lucky you'll find a reviewer that you can trust.

The Bilgemunky floated my boat, and in more ways than one.

First of all, I liked his in-your-face attitude. Like me, he has no problem in calling shit, uh shit. Or maybe "...really bad shit!". Very uncommercial very honest. Like us, Bilge likes serious rums that talk back to you. The kind pirates and British seamen toiled for and enjoyed. Good, great and relatively pure, hearty rums. No pussy he. And without being able to explain just why, after those of BTI, we came to trust the Bilgemunky and his rollicking reviews.

Let's first look at the mega-analysis:

Image

If you've had the opportunity to examine the other three Reviewer's Reviews (of the Beverage Tasting Institute, the Arctic Wolf and RnD's Rum Reviews) you'll already have reached the inevitable conclusion. The Bilgemunky's reviews exhibit an impressively normal distribution, approximating a lovely bell curve - exceeded only by BTI (and not by much). Nicely balanced with the bulk of the reviews scoring around the median, and appropriately fewer at the high and low end.

Indeed, Bilge is one of the only reviewers to give not one, but two scores of zero! And another two of just "1". This takes cajones. And to examine the bell more dramatically, here's the same analysis in terms of a typical 5-star analysis:

Image

This analysis makes Bilge's "bell" curve even more obvious. Although there is a very slight bias to just above the median/average, Bilgemunky shows a remarkable lack of bias, and an equally remarkable propensity for honesty. Good on him! So what does this all mean?

Summary:

1. Bilge has a preference for real and classic rums.

2. If your tastes and descriptors approximate his, you can depend on his ratings.

3. Honesty? How 'bout a "0" for Mount Gay 1703? Just "3" for El Dorado 25? And for good reason.

4. What Bilge may lack in descriptors, he makes up with honest and reliable ratings. Feel free to base your purchases on them.

5. Only criticism: it's hard to find a rum, but if you google "Bilgemunkey (name of rum)" it'll come up.

Now yes, of course, we have some disagreements: Barbancourt Five Star, Mount Gay Eclipse and Old Monk to name just a few - but for every rum on which we disagree, I am in head nodding agreement on ten more. Works for me. Keep it up Bilge!


Rating (ten is best): 7 for a very skilled amateur. Consult him for every rum you've tried or wish to...
Last edited by Capn Jimbo on Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:22 am, edited 5 times in total.
RT
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Post by RT »

I too enjoy the Bilgemunky site, however I rate it higher for pure entertainment value than for accuracy of reviews. For example, the Mt. Gay Eclipse, 1/2 star on his scale for a near total lack of flavor, earns 3-1/2 stars from me as a very good rum for mixing with coke, and a passable (non-offensive) sipper in a bar (such as our local TGI Fridays) that stocks nothing better.


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Capn's Log: Is that why you gave it a "4", lol? I've spent untold hours comparing reviews and ratings, and with a tolerably few exceptions Bilge's scoring reflects the consensus. I'll say it again, if you share his tastes, you'll never go wrong buying his 4 and 5 star rums.

One more note: we should all be honest and admit that we usually buy rums on the score and "glowingness" of the review, not the descriptors. You can count on the Bilge.



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Post by Stefan »

I enjoy his site but don't feel the same as him regarding pirates. My view on pirates is that they should be shot on sight, no questions asked. Working at sea on merchant vessels for 28 years now might have affected my opinion on the subject of course... Passing the somalian coast for example nowadays is not all that fun.

I do however enjoy reading his reviews as he is not afraid to have opinions.
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Post by RT »

I feel it is important to make a distinction between entertainment/fantasy and reality. Or do you also dislike the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies for the same reason?

On the reality side, I do not understand why so many vessels pass through that dangerous area of the world seemingly without adequate means of defending themselves? Obviously I have never been there. Am I off base here?

(Jimbo - sorry to go off topic)
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Post by Stefan »

Regarding the reality side I fully agree with you. I don't really share my companys view that putting arms onboard would only escalate things. It's very easy for them to have a no-violence policy sitting in the office at home. I would prefer to be able to do something about it instead of being a sitting duck. These policies vary from country to country and company to company.

I am lucky because the type of ship I work on is quite hard to catch so I don't get too stressed out passing areas like this. I do however think that these problems were very effectively taken care of two hundred years ago and would work as well (with the exact same methods) today if our governments had the guts to do something about it.

Regarding the Bilge munkey site, I do enjoy his reviews (and his honesty) but as I maybe put too harshly, the whole piracy thing rubs me the wrong way.
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Capn Jimbo
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Post by Capn Jimbo »

Off topic - slightly - is fine. And I can see both points of view:

RT's that it's simply harmless fun (and don't forget that "Pirates" or the "Caribbean" are themes that adorn so many bottles of rum as well). The Bilgemunkey may simply have picked up on an already established theme (actually it may be the reverse). Like the Rennaisance festivals, the Bilge is just into pirates. Such is life.

OTOH, Stefan has to contend with real pirates, in real life and who have established a lucrative and successful "business" that, as he points out, who run roughshod without real government interference. That this can happen in this modern, high tech, militarized world is shameful.

Two individual viewpoints, both valid from different perspectives.

I have a third view, and it is derived from reading the history of rum and the Caribbean and honestly, it's not pretty. Rum was the liquid gold that depended on cheap, expendible and replaceable labor, namely slavery.

Believe it or not, the average life expectancy of a rum slave was roughly five years after landing. Indeed rum and slavery are inseparable and not at all romantic. From this view rum is made with sugar cane, molasses and...

The blood of slaves.

It is my sincere belief that rum cannot be truly appreciated or understood without knowing it's history and traditions. Haiti was the first and only island where the slaves revolted and gained their own freedom. In retaliation Napolean made sure that they remained impoverished to this day. That their world class Barbancourt is still made in artisan fashion, dominates the ratings and still sells for $20 is a triumph of the human spirit and artistry.

A story we should all appreciate and honor.
Last edited by Capn Jimbo on Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:08 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Post by RT »

Was not cotton (and virtually every other agricultural product) also produced from the blood of slaves? Why should rum be singled out? We should not give up our rum over the memories of slavery, any more than we should run around without clothing :)

Can we instead drink the rum (and dress like Tommy Bahama) in honor of the efforts of those slaves?


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: I wasn't singling out rum - you might have noticed this is a rum website, though I do plan to review cotton real soon now, lol... actually my mention of Haiti's Barbancourt was mentioned exactly to honor this history. Drinking Tommy Bahama to honor slaves is like drinking to Bernie Madoff to honor his thousands of defrauded victims. Double lol...
Students of the cask, reject naught but water. -Charles Gonoud, Faust Act 2
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Post by Bilgemunky »

Thanks, Jimbo, for the kind words! Indeed, I fully concur that my reviews are of the most use to those who share my tastes, and are likely next to useless for those who look for different qualities in their rums. But for those who find them useful - I always endeavor to maintain a brutal honesty so they can rest assured when making a purchase based on my recommendations.

Stefan, Bilgemunky.com has never glamorized the modern day pirates, and it's actually a subject I've mostly avoided altogether - it's indeed the escapist/fantasy side I prefer to focus on - stripey socks, yo ho ho, and cool hats. But I realize that, for some people, the fantasy strikes a bit too close to home. Not unlike how someone who's entire family was destroyed by flesh-eating bacteria might find the current zombie craze to be somewhat distasteful. More power to ya, mate, and stay safe when touring those troubled waters!
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