Capn Jimbo's Rum Project Forum

[Capn Jimbo]

Wanta sound like a reviewer?


Easy. It's simply a matter of name dropping, mysteriousness, a touch of vague and assumed knowingness. Using the term "marzipan" is perfect! The reviewers - especially the new ones - often use it, and the readers - just as often don't have a clue as to what's being described, but damn!

It sure sounds good.

You see, marzipan is a rare bit of exotica here in the states, a costly little delicacy, individually wrapped and hard to find. Be honest, when's the last time you had some? How's never sound? But it seems like all the reviewers have a cupboard shelf just full of it. Simply because, well, they are just full of it.

Truth is it's more a European thing, where marzipan is sold and enjoyed everywhere, comes in huge rolls from which you can slice a slab. Gets packed in kid's lunches, and well, is commonplace and everywhere.


So WTF is it?

Marzipan is simply - almonds. Almonds. But that doesn't sound anywhere near as hip as "marzipan" does it now? Nope. Making marzipan is simple: merely grind up some skinned, blanched almonds - mix about 50/50 with ordinary confectioners fine sugar, maybe an eggwhite or two, and depending a little vanilla flavoring - smoosh it all together, make it into rolls and refrigerate. In sum it's a just a sweetened almond dough that can be rolled out and used for cake decorating, or stored as a big "log" in the fridge.

What's funny about this descriptor is that marzipan has not much of either an aroma or taste (which is why it's used to decorate cakes). The taste is sweet but otherwise quite bland, the aroma is equally bland and reveals more of the added vanilla than anything else.

Odd.

What's odd you ask? First it's odd that such a bland dough is used as a sexy descriptor. It's odder that new reviewers especially seem to like the term and use it on American websites. And it's odder yet that it's use supplants more understandable descriptors as "almond", "sweet" and "vanilla". As far as "marzipan" is concerned, think "distant almond, blatant sweetness and tones of artificial vanilla".

That'd be more accurate.

To be perfectly honest, now that I know what marzipan really is, any future review using it will be a turnoff for that spirit...
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