Aroma and Flavor: Does Marzipan smell like death?

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Do you know what marzipan is?

Yes.
1
50%
No, but it sounds cool.
0
No votes
I thought I knew, but not now.
0
No votes
Now that I know, count me out!
1
50%
It smells like death...
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 2

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Capn Jimbo
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Aroma and Flavor: Does Marzipan smell like death?

Post by Capn Jimbo »

Wanta sound like a reviewer? Should "marzipan" be a turnoff?

Actress Kat Denning: "Marzipan. It’s disgusting. I can appreciate the shape it’s sometimes molded into, but that’s as far as it goes. Someone once told me that right before you die, everything smells like almonds. It probably isn’t true and that person sounds like an idiot, but it brings me to this conclusion: Marzipan is made from almonds, almonds smell like death, and therefore, marzipan smells like death. Fruitshaped death."
Let's start with how to sound like a reviewer.

Easy. It's simply a matter of name dropping, mysteriousness, a touch of vague and assumed knowingness. Using the term "marzipan" is perfect! The reviewers - especially the new ones - often use it, and the readers - just as often don't have a clue as to what's being described, but damn!

It sure sounds good.

You see, marzipan is a rare bit of exotica here in the states, a costly little delicacy, individually wrapped and hard to find. Be honest, when's the last time you had some? How's never sound? But it seems like all the reviewers have a cupboard shelf just full of it. Simply because, well, they are just full of it.

Truth is it's more a European thing, where marzipan is sold and enjoyed everywhere, comes in huge rolls from which you can slice a slab. Gets packed in kid's lunches, and well, is commonplace and everywhere.


So WTF is it? The death part.


Marzipan is simply - almonds. Almonds. But that doesn't sound anywhere near as hip as "marzipan" does it now? Nope. Making marzipan is simple: merely grind up some skinned, blanched almonds - mix about 50/50 with ordinary confectioners fine sugar, maybe an eggwhite or two, and depending a little vanilla flavoring - smoosh it all together, make it into rolls and refrigerate. In sum it's a just a sweetened almond dough that can be rolled out and used for cake decorating, or stored as a big "log" in the fridge.

What's funny about this descriptor is that marzipan has not much of either an aroma or taste (which is why it's used to decorate cakes). The taste is sweet but otherwise quite bland, the aroma is equally bland and reveals more of the added vanilla than anything else.

Odd.

What's odd you ask? First it's odd that such a bland dough is used as a sexy descriptor. It's odder that new reviewers especially seem to like the term and use it on American websites. And it's odder yet that it's use supplants more understandable descriptors as "almond", "sweet" and "vanilla". As far as "marzipan" is concerned, think "blatantly sweet with tones of artificial vanilla, and a distant almond".

That'd be more accurate.

To be perfectly honest, now that I know what marzipan really is, any future review using it will be a turnoff for that spirit...


*******
Note: believe it or not such chemicals such as cyanogens (cyanide) and combustibles have been described as having the aroma of marzipan. Tastewise, mazipan comes on as almost overpoweringly sweet, but leaving a bitter almond aftertaste.

Why this descriptor has found favor is beyond me. If it weren't for simple ignorance (mine included) this post would have gone up long ago.
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Uisge
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Post by Uisge »

I am aware of what Marzipan is, even though its been a while since I've had some.

I think you have a point about the use of the term being more of a European thing, as I noted in reviews of whiskies in Whisky Magazine use of that term and a few others that I was less familiar with, showing a bit of a "Euro-centric" bias in that regard.

Then again, one of the best references to almonds "smelling like death" was from the album The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway by Genesis, the last one where Peter Gabriel was a member, where in the song Broadway Melody of 1974 Gabriel croons "The cheerleader waves her cyanide wand, there's a smell of peach blossom and bitter almonde."


******
Capn's Log: Great stuff, thanks. I really do think there's a thing called "reviewer speak" and this is one. Agreed, it's definitely a Euro thing, but the term is name dropped here by American reviewers who oughta know better. Think the Artic Wolf, written in, and addressing the Americans.
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Capn Jimbo
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Boy was I dumb!

Post by Capn Jimbo »

Boy was I dumb!


Look, I've been writing reviews for a long while, and reading them for even longer and I have an admission to make. I never knew what "marzipan" was. But like "chewy" - minimally understood - I saw terms like these being used and sounding, well, somehow mysteriously good and attractive.

Any "chewy" rum featuring "marzipan" must be complex and special, and boy, that reviewer must really know his stuff.

I was dead wrong about both. I am convincedthat many newer reviewers have been unduly influenced by the top Euro reviewers (who do know their stuff). These newbies than simply started dropping these descriptors into their better reviews, in a dual attempt to make the rum, and themselves, sound way better than they are.

The Artic Wolf is a prime example. In less than two years, he's projectile vomited hundreds of "reviews" and his descriptor count, but not his accuracy or understanding, has exploded. When he finally started using "marzipan" and "chewy" I knew the jig was up and I was forced to examine them. The result:

"Reviewer speak". Canned mystery meat. And I didn't have a clue, shame on me.

Having done a lot of reviews in a style we intended to be understandable and in the manner of common experience, we'd never used the terms. Instead we frequently identify "almond", "artificial vanilla", "vanillan" (from aging) and such as "honey sweetness" or "coating syrupy sweetness". These are often modified, like "roasted almonds" or "bitter almond".

Marzipan, even expressed as "blatantly sweet with tones of artificial vanilla, and a far distant almond" doesn't leap to my mind regarding rum especially. Some whiskies perhaps. Same for chewy, a characteristic absent from a typical rum profile.

Yet the new American quasi-reviewers have picked these terms up. I can only assume either they don't really understand the terms themselves, or have decided to name drop for effect.

Or both. Proof positive is when you see vanilla and almonds appearing in the same review. Speaking for Sue Sea and myself, you'll never see us use the "chewy", "marzipan" descriptor bombs. We'd much prefer the greater accuracy and accessibility of the less exotic, but much more understandable component terms - vanilla, sweetness and almonds.

As for "chewy marizipan", ugh! Count me out...
Last edited by Capn Jimbo on Sun Dec 11, 2011 4:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RT
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Post by RT »

Many of the best wines have chewy tannins, at least according to the wine spectator and wine advocate guys.

Personally, I could never chew the tannins long enough to detect their flavor.


*******
Capn's Log: Not really - hang in and I'll get to it. The descriptor "chewy" has been covered separately in this section. Another bullshit term, misused to sound hip and good, when in fact it's quite the opposite, bordering on negative.

In brief, "tannins" (from new oak) have no aroma or taste whatever. But like a super strong cup of black tea, when you drink it you will experience a rough, raspy, very "puckery" feeling, particularly in the back sides of your mouth and cheeks. Very drying, very rough, very unpleasant.

"Chewy" (as does appear in wine reviews) refers to a level of tannins that is strong, and bordering on unpleasant. The "chewy" part refers to the natural tendency to "chew" or work your mouth to create saliva to cover up the awful sensation. As used in wine, it is a borderline sensation, beyond lesser, but more positive sensations as "good structure".

When our quasi-commercial rum reviewers namedrop this term, they don't have a fucking clue and have it exactly backwards. A chewy rum? Unless you like "puckery" rums, don't buy it!
Students of the cask, reject naught but water. -Charles Gonoud, Faust Act 2
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