A dicey, spicey comparison of allegedly spiced rums...

Are these real rums? Is a chocolate flavored Bistec de Palomilla a steak? Maybe. Some are of lower proof. Some use real flavoring. And as for some, may we never drink worse than this!
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Capn Jimbo
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A dicey, spicey comparison of allegedly spiced rums...

Post by Capn Jimbo »

A dicey, spicey comparison of allegedly spiced rums...

On the net: “Spiced rum is not a fad,” declares rum expert, importer and advocate Ed Hamilton. “The tradition of adding fruit and spice to rum is almost as old as Caribbean rum itself.”
Just one problem. Nowadays the fruit and spice are all by Dupont. Frivolous fad, faux-flavored rum actually kills the tradition.

While Sue Sea can enjoy a spiffed up rum, I tend to be a pure rum kinda guy. This in part is because those of us who understand and appreciate purity, elegance and skill in rums are still a minority, albeit a fast growing one. Still, we have to respect tradition and history and realize that spiced and flavored rum were an important part of history with perhaps one big exception. Way back then the alteration of rums were for the most part done openly.

Wayne Curtis expressed these flavored and spiced concoctions so beautifully in his terrific book "and a Bottle of Rum, a History of the New World in Ten Cocktails. These included Grog, Flip, Bombo, and far from least, Rum Punch. More recently, the Daiqairi and Mojito of Cuba and Ernest Hemingway, and with the Coca Cola of World War Two (and still essential with any Canadian spirit). For the most part flavoring, juices and spices were real, not drivel by Dupont.

It's different now.


The "New Breed"

Now we have so called taste engineers who use super hi-tech spectrographic analysis of a flavor, to find that most are composed of tens if not hundreds of flavor components. These con-coctionmen then work hard to find the one, two or few that seem to confer what they believe is the "essence" of a flavor or spice, and voila! They then create a soup of artificial chemicals and colors that becomes your cherry sucker, or the tinge of ripe bing cherry in your cheap ass, column-stilled "rum". These would be "artificial flavors". Because admitting even that on your bottle of Batshit Dingleberry is dangerous, these geniuses then created "natural" flavorings, whose primary objective is not a better flavor than artificial, but con-coctioning you to think that they are.

After all, "natural" must be, uh, natural, er like from nature, right?

No fackin way, Jo Jo. The difference between a natural and artificial flavors? One component can do it. Simply extract one real component - any one will do - and then mix a little of it in the usual soup of flavors by Dupont and voila asshole! A "natural" flavor to make you feel better.

We're just going to review a few of the more visible spiced rums from the avalanche of new releases, and there are many. Tiki Seven, Kraken, The Lash, Blackbeard, Montecristo, Calypso, Chairman's Reserve, Old New Orleans, Rogue, Castillo, Voodoo, Sir Francis Drake, Lieutenant Dan, Crusoe Organic, well you get the idea. Wine Spectator noted that this category simply went nuts in 2008/2009, from just a handful - including the Admiral, the other Captain, and Jerry - to nearly seventy brands.

So much for the "noble spirit".

In general the older spiced rums were overly sweet and syrupy and drowning in phony vanilla. Ugh. The new breed are spice focused and dominant, with varying levels of intensity, from mild (Cruzan 9) to wild (The Lash). A few use better rums, up to 4 years of age. And a mere handful actually use spices - the rest are as real as Roundup weed killer.

In the last year though the category has narrowed some, down to perhaps 50 brands, but these are doing extremely well, with spiced rums sales continuing to increase very rapidly, from about 7 million cases last year to 9 million now. Here in south Florida these bullshit products are literally taking over the shelves. Dupont must be ecstatic.

Is all lost?

No, but barely. Fortunately there are a precious few distillers who actually care, who go to the considerable time and expense to use real - not "natural" or "artificial" - flavorings and spices. Think Richard Seale, and a few old-fashioned distillers who are stubborn and keep doing things the old way. Think Coruba. Think Old Monk XXX. And think...no! You'll have to wait for that one...

So let's compare some allegedly spiced rums...


Cruzan "9" Spiced Rum

Cruzan has always been a heavyweight in the sales of flavored rums, and actually produced a few good aged rums as well. Sadly the best of these - the Cruzan Estate Diamond - was discontinued. Their recent "hot" new "Cruzan 9" wants you to believe that it contains "nine heirloom spices". Kinda like my "heirloom", 10 year old underwear, undefined. I challenged Cruzan on these (here).

When pressed, they'd admit only that their flavorings complied with TTB regulations. You may assume they may not be real, since any marketing man who isn't mad, and even those who are, would not hesitate to exclaim "Uses rare and real spices!". But I digress. Here goes...

Sue Sea:
Let's start off with the bottle. I'm a big fan of presentation, and Cruzan 9's bottle is very ordinary and honestly, leaves me cold. It features a clear plastic, stick-on label on a cheap bottle with metal screw cap, and plastered with two huge white "9's". I'm truly sorry, but this is cheesy and more suited to a vodka. The "9" opens with the aroma of a lightly spiced rum, and vanilla. Quite pleasant, with also light tone of caramel, leather, orange and maple. The early palate was of a creamy melting caramel, with the spices then emerging - ginger, clove, light cinnamon - along with a vanilla caramel cream. Then with a smoothly growing heat it's off to a nice, warm clove finish.

Cruzan "9" is pleasant and easy drinking, a great gift but for the hideous bottle.
Me: Cruzan "9" - NINE! I say - is a clear amber, and lighter bodied compared especially to Brinley's Shipwreck (up next). It presents as a well-blended, lightly spice rum - a perfumed rum if you will, with subtle mute spicing. The mouth opens as a light, thin honey turning smoothly to a modest and rather vague spicing, to a slightly dry and astringent, lively black pepper and clove, syrupy and coating finish.

Summary: Cruzan "9" is a spiced rum for people who don't like spiced rum. Cruzan has obviously reached for the lowest common denominator, and seemingly just doesn't want to commit. They shout out the spicing, but in the glass they're barely there. Sure it's pleasant enough, but vagueness does not make for memorability or in this case, ratings. What's really funny about "9" is their back label copy, which emphasizes its "heavy, traditional and bold" character. Sure...

Like Charlie Sheen's brother.


Score: 7 - barely.


Brinley's Gold Shipwrecked Spiced Rum

Next up is Brinley's spiced offering. Before we begin, it's important to know that Brinley uses real spices, nuts and fruit in the form of extracts which are then added to their various products. The rums may thus contain spice sediments, which are purposefully not filtered out, so as not to inhibit the intended effect. Basta!

Sue Sea:
Unlike Cruzan "9", the Brinley's bottle is a work of art. Tall and dramatic, with its classic faux burnt parchment label and angled cap seal, and wooden capped cork topper. It gives that days of old feeling, classy and intriguing. I especially liked the bottle hanger with a few suggested recipes. Well done. On to the glass...

My God in Heaven! Cacao, a hint of chocolate, coffee, nutmeg, rum, leather, smashing and complex. A good vanilla, rum, leather, root beer barrel hard candy, caramel, vanilla cream candy, ginger, allspice, clove and cinnamon. Wonderful and rich. These all carry through to a consistent spicy sweet finish.

To me, Brinley's Gold Shipwreck Rum is definitely an after dinner treat, liquerlike, heavy and sweet. I can well imagine using it in baking, and desserts like Bananas Foster. It is very real and rich, right up to borderline excessive. But not quite, it's really and truly delicious.
Me: Shipwreck is a rootbeer mahogany color, and less clear than the "9", but carries a more distinct but very thin green edge. No surprise, as Brinley warns that when using real spices and extracts it's common to find a little sediment. Their position: filter the tiny bit of sediment, and you filter the flavoar.

Brinley's Shipwreck is very full bodied and opened rich, syrupy and deep. It almost has a syrupy aroma, if there was one. Deep, juicy sweet spiced orange, vanilla, over sweet integrated spices. The early palate is consistent, heavy and deep, a rich very dark black cherry, nutmeg, near plum and raisin. Leathery and deep orange, milk chocolate and vanilla custard. Brinley has done it again, the Seale of spiced rums, in a class of their own.


Score: Solid, strong 8.


Bottom Line

Here we have compared the ends of the spice continuum, from artificial to real, from mass-produced to a more artistic process. If you agree that real is your bag, you may continue on to other fine and real spiced rums like Foursquare, Pango, The Lash or Old Monk XXX (all reviewed in this section).

Unlike the Preacher's commercial marketing of faux "authenticity and tradition" these few products are the real deal.


Way Bottom Line

Even apart from the divide between the many articifical and the few real spiced rum, there's a basic division of products:

1. Super sweet syrupy and vanila bombs.

2. Barely spiced - spiced rums for those that don't like spiced rums.

3. Really and truly spiced - oddly enough these are much fewer, and more likely to be real.

Don't be a candy ass, look for the last...
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